Our Journey

When I was about 14 or 15 years old I was a studmuffin basketball player. I am a decent basketball player now, but back then I was incredible. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a better basketball player now than I was then, but for my age I was a dominate figure. I think it was because I was 6 foot and 145 lbs. When you are that age, that is gigantic and the perfect shooting height. I had a couple of college neighbors that lived up the street and they would invite me up to play ball. They very much thought they were ladies men. I think they felt the full excitement about their age and opportunities where they went to school and worked. These guys were pretty close friends, and they would hang out together all the time. We played 21, and sometimes we played 2 on 2 if we could find another person. They let me play with them because I was good enough at my age to keep up with them on defense, and I could also score.

One afternoon I walked out my front door and it was a beautiful spring day. The birds were chirping, and my body felt like it was made for basketball particularly that day. I decided to head up to Scott’s house. I dribbled my ball up the gravel road and went up to the door. As I was approaching the doorway I saw the door begin to open. I almost fell flat on my butt. My throat closed up and I became sweaty. My palms started to feel clammy and I knew I had met the definition of beauty. This 5 foot 6 inch college girl was swinging the door open. As the door open her hair blew backwards and yet it seemed as if the camera was zooming in on her at the same time. I am sure she saw me picking up my jaw off the ground because I got a smirky smile from her as she walked by looking very hot.

I watched her get into her car and leave. I then turned to see Scott laughing at me as I was still caught up in her flipping hair and perfectly curvy body. I told him to shut up and that she was smoking hot. He told me that he completely agreed. I got the feeling that he was interested, and so I tauntingly asked him, “So bro, that your girl?” “No man.” He replied. I came back with, “Oh, so your just hooking up with her then.” He looked at me a little disgusted. I didn’t expect that, so I continued, “Oh snap, she won’t give you none. haha!” (I was a little uncouth and irreligious in my comments). Scott actually stopped making the sandwich he was making on the island in his kitchen and looked at me. I thought he was going to be ticked at me. Maybe he would come over the counter and tackle me. He was the type of guy that wouldn’t have a problem wrestling me to the ground and “teaching me a lesson.” (of course all in good fun). Instead he surprised me and said, “If she actually was even willing to have sex with me, I would lose a lot of respect for her. In fact, I wouldn’t sleep with her even if she wanted to.” I was blown away! “What?! She is so hot though. How could you not?” He answered, “She is different from me, and she wants other things. I appreciate her for who she is and who she wants to be. I wouldn’t want to mess up that, or our friendship.”

This is the idea that speaks to the post-modern mindset of community accountability. Accountability. Accountability. It almost seems like post-moderns don’t have a means of holding each other accountable. How do you allow for people to be whoever they want to be and still hold them accountable. The Bible speaks about accountability. Frequently we take our examples of accountability from stories like Jonah and the Whale (big fish). We attack people with issues they are not doing right and try to hold them accountable to our institution, or our leader, or our own personal convictions. I’m going to spend a whole chapter dealing with problems, but the focus of this chapter is understanding how we are supposed to journey together, “Our Journey.”

Without a doubt the Bible clearly wants us to journey together! I believe that. The trick is understanding the difference between “My Journey” and “Our Journey”. My journey is where I am learning and growing and journeying with Christ. Our journey is where YOU hold ME accountable for MY convictions. In my story, Scott was a friend with a person that wasn’t like him in where he was going, what he was doing, or who he was. Yet, they were still friends. They hung out together, communicated over phone and email, and shared in the journey of life. However, they did not look down on each other for their actions. They did not condemn each other for being different and holding different values from themselves. Most importantly, they didn’t expect the other person to be the person they are.

The same approach is the approach we should have with each other in our relationships. I shouldn’t be condemning someone for something they are not convicted of. I should qualify that a little bit. Someone that is searching after Jesus, and has begun a walk with Him, doesn’t need me telling them all that they are doing wrong, or even one thing they are doing wrong. Instead I should be asking them with what they are working with Jesus on right now. I can then give support, encouragement, accountability, and inspiration to help them in their journey. It is my task to encourage them on THEIR journey, and hold them accountable for THEIR convictions, and help them to stand up for what THEY believe. They should be encouraging me on MY journey, and holding me accountable for MY convictions, and help me stand up for what I believe. This is “Our Journey” that we are on! This takes out the people that want to point out where people are failing, because they won’t know what someone is working on unless they have a relationship with them.

To sum up, let me say this: If you come to me and ask me to help you, I will. But I’m not going to tell you where you are failing…until you ask.