My Journey

I have had many friends come up to me over the years of my life speaking of their issues in Pornography. To them this is sin, and to me this is sin, so I will continue to refer to it as such. I believe that I can count on my hands and toes the amount of times that I have sought out pictures or videos of naked humans. I think that half of those times might have been pretty early in my adolescence and the curiosity of nudity was mysterious and tantalizing. Even then I wasn’t that interested. I remember the very first time I saw a naked woman in a magazine.

I was probably 13 years old, and I was walking with my cousin Lou through some woods in Federalsburg MD. This was a bizarre patch of woods, because I remember roads surrounding it, and it wasn’t really close to anything except roads. We were tramping through them and as we were walking Lou pointed to the ground and said there was the remains of a magazine that hadn’t burnt all the way in the fire. We walked over to it, and bent down. There were enough sheets for both of us to have a couple. The imprinting laser began in my brain and never have I forgotten what was on that paper. I remember that Lou was unimpressed and walked away. I stayed and analyzed these pictures like George the monkey. Soon Lou yelled for me to come, and like a dog I was away, but I brought the sheets with me. Eventually I dropped them by the way because I felt I had absorbed all the information for that time, and I didn’t really think much more of it.

I wasn’t really captivated by that experience and craving more like so many men are. I was more curious and when my curiosity had been filled, and I felt like I understood, then pictures of nudity have done little to ensnare me. I know that this is gift from God. I believe it with all my heart, because this is something that is the bane of many, young and old. The reason I note this is because I am very good friends with many people that struggle with this sin. I am also very close with many who don’t struggle with this because they don’t believe it to be sin. It is very easy for me not to condemn them because I realize that wherever they are on that path, it is probably different than where I am on that path. I also realize that in this particular sin, I can’t empathize with them. However, when they come to me and ask me to help them with accountability, then I am more than willing and happy to help. It is an obligation for me to support them on their journey. No, it is my responsibility. If they asked me to join them in it, I would immediately say No. It is not for me to begin a sin for any reason, including peer pressure. I need to stand up for my journey and what I believe. but still in a sense, I journey with them. This is the idea of My Journey vs. Our Journey.

My Journey:

My journey is something that is unique to me. I become convicted of something, and no matter what happens I should stand up for my convictions. I feel like a lot of people are confused about this fact. There are three roads that I see people taking because of their confusion.

The first is to relinquish their position and join whoever or whatever in what they believe to be wrong or sin.This usually comes as a result of peer pressure. Or the desire to no longer try to fight against the carnal nature. And it is one way to find relief when you are overcome with the shame of being noticed for sin. Sometimes it happens because someone thinks they are witnessing by not standing up for what they believe to be right. There are many scenarios where people choose not to stand up for their convictions.

The second is to avoid all together those people that may be different from them in their understanding. Like a person that is Liberal being uncomfortable around a Conservative because they honestly don’t agree. Or to make it even broader, like a right wing republican hanging out with a left wing democrat. The can’t even enjoy each others company because it seems that every conversation turns into an argument. If you were to spend an evening with these opposites, listening to them, it may go something like this: They meet for dinner at a restaurant and the Liberal orders appetizers for both and an entree, while the conservative gets a salad without the meat and no salad dressing, with a side of olive oil and a cut lemon slice. The Liberal is offended because the Conservative won’t eat the appetizer. The Conservative tells him how fat and unhealthy it is with pork in it that causes trichinosis. The conversation lasts a while until they have exhausted all information on earth about the health of the meal and not being so rigid. Later conversation about politics comes up. The Conservative begins with talk about how crazy it is that any Christians would support someone who believes in killing babies and allowing people of the same sex to marry. It is a Christian obligation to vote and support pro-life. The Liberal, of course, parries with the rights of any man to choose what he wants to believe, the basis of the constitution, and the necessity of separation of church and state. They make hurtful remarks basically condemning the other for having an opinion besides their own and then they leave for icecream. The Conservative kindly offers to drive his 1980 pickup truck that gets all of 8 miles to the gallon and is exempt from emissions tests. The Liberal is appalled but keeps his mouth shut about the need to save earth from destruction as the Conservative rants about his love for his truck. When they reach the icecream shop the Liberal orders a respectable cone, but not ridiculous in size, while the Conservative orders a vanilla wafer. The argue once again about why they even came if they weren’t going to enjoy the experience, to which comes the response, “for the conversation.” At this both are silent. Finally the Liberal invites the Conservative home to watch his favorite TV show, to which the Conservative contorts that he doesn’t have a TV because nature is so much more enjoyable than stuffing your head with filth.

I almost wish for their sake they would give up. It is pitiful the words that we speak to each other to burn them for the things that we think they are being to liberal or rigid over. Both of those men can talk about the things that are important to them with love and acceptance if they are both willing. Both of those men can share meaningful time together doing stuff they both appreciate if they are both wanting. If instead of condemnation at the forks in the road, we should be giving each other more than tolerance…admiration. There is nothing saying that a Liberal can’t eat and completely enjoy eating a pig while admiring a well spoken and caring Conservative telling why he personally is convicted that pork is wrong…for him.

The third are those oblivious, just don’t get it, or see the big picture Christians. They often take their journey and project it on others. Maybe they are talking your ear off about religious things without giving heed to social cues while your thinking…look buddy, this is great, but would you shut up already. Maybe they are coming up to you pointing out the things that they think you are doing wrong because of the conviction they feel in their journey. Maybe they are telling you that the institution or person to whom you belong is corrupt and they list all the ways they’ve been wronged, and they tell themselves that they are giving you a “heads up”. And don’t we all know that having someone give us a “heads up” is exactly what we want?

The problem that occurs if we live other peoples journey’s is that we are failing to live up to the person that God wants us to be. So there is the “all about me” conversation. It is fantastic when someone tells you about their views on religion, but if you haven’t journeyed down that road yet, or if you haven’t wrestled with that subject, then they are rattling your ear off for naught. Maybe you are wanting to get into that study but you haven’t yet. This isn’t a post about social cues, so I’ll simply say that some people are hard to talk to (or listen to), and people that aren’t concerned about your journey with Christ. They should be giving you the same courtesy that you give them. Then there is the perpetual “eagle eyes” (great accuser) of the church that comes up to “help” you see the “pit of despond” that you have fallen into “Christian.” (that is a play off of Pilgrim’s Progress). They don’t understand that once again you may not be where they are in their Christianity. What is worse is that you want to point all of their hypocrisies, but boy, that just feels like you are stooping to their level so you don’t, or maybe you do. If you let someone point out everything that you do wrong for the rest of your life, then that person would always be finding something because we are not perfect… and that LITERALLY would be the Devil’s job. Sometimes I wonder if people realize that they are performing the Devil’s job being the accuser of the brethren. Amongst the many other conversations, there are the ones about “who to watch out for.” Now, I would not like to be walking through a field enjoying the flowers and the field and the sunshine and the weather, and not be warned about the cow pie that I’m about to step into. That’s a nice illustration, but somehow people use that all the time as an excuse to point out the bad in others. Isn’t it nice to just live life and experience things for ourselves sometimes? It is very nice when someone points out danger before we enter it. But how often is that illustration construed into an opportunity for a person to talk about how they were “abused” by something or someone else….start the gossip train rolling. If we enter other situations through another’s journey, how does that leave room for us to learn about that person and institution for ourselves and make an objective decision about it? This also makes it difficult to allow room for that person or institution to make any changes.

It is quite unrealistic for us to realize that these conversations, or others like them, won’t happen. They are simply things that we will have to cope with for the rest of our lives. If you understand the difference between the journey that you are on and the journey that they are on, it can give you the power and knowledge of how to handle these situations and many others; without the projection of feelings, beliefs, thoughts, experiences, and still at the same time standing up for where you are in your journey.

My journey is a journey that I am accumulating to the best of MY ability the information given to me to make the best possible decision. That includes the information that the person gives that only cares about talking about themselves. That includes the information that the person points out that I am doing things wrong. That includes the information that the person gives me cautioning me to be weary of someone or something. I gather that information and I study it, and I give it attention and time for my emotions to cool, then I pray that God would give me understanding to take a stand. That becomes something that I am willing to stand up to my closest friend about or the greatest King or my bitterest enemy, until new information has been gathered and I make a better decision. Always you are keeping this information in mind realizing that you may not have enough information to make the perfect decision. That means when the next person comes along preaching the opposite thing, you can be open enough to realize that they actually may be right. Then you follow the same steps to conclude whether they are or not. Even in the midst of that, you can be clear about your current stance and give support for the reasons you are taking that stand and not condemning others for their stands.