If my wife cleans the glass door to well with the latest cleaner I can’t even tell it’s there anymore and walk right into it…even though it’s my house and that door has been there for years.
When she calls a friend and says that she’s losing weight by eating yummy sounding foods I’m too stupid to realize she’s actually talking about flavors of yogurt that I’m staring at in our fridge.
When we try to throw parties my idiocy ends up setting the backyard on fire. When it’s time to eat I can’t figure out what’s healthy and what’s not.
My dumb idiot boys and I haven’t figured out that rollover minutes save money so we throw them in the trash because we think they’ve “gone bad”. Psshhh…ssssoooooo dumb.
However, I CAN answer any question you NEED to know about beer…because that’s important. So important that I love it more than anything else…even my dog and girlfriend. And when I choose the right body wash she won’t be able to control herself any longer…along with all of her friends, naturally, after I crash their book club…for beer of course…because I’m too stupid to actually read.
Yes, I’m a dumb idiot man. Chances are nearly excellent you’ve seen me on T.V. (especially around Christmas).
I get confused very easily, am extremely accident prone, and only ask three questions in life:
Does it have a Hemi? (I want to pull heavy things around)
Does it have five blades? (I need the closest shave)
Does the can turn blue when it’s cold? (I can’t tell by touching it)
It’s a good thing sexism is a commute only women drivers must endure…otherwise I might be inclined to be offended by the way I am portrayed…but then again “offended” is a three syllable word so probably not.
-Donnie Keele
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